Passage To A Positive Future

"WHAT sits in a corner all the time and travels around the world?" asks Jasmine Adaickalam of the 130-odd women in front of her. Several hands shoot up in eager attempt, but none arrive at the answer. It is of course “a stamp”, and the riddle is one of several which liven up a two-day motivation session for lower-income Indian women across Malaysia.

The retreat, held last week at the Ayer Keroh d’Village Resort in Malacca, was organized by the Yayasan Strategik Sosial (YSS), the social arm of the MIC. The women, who come from squatter settlements, low-cost flats and longhouses, are all members and leaders of community self-help groups pioneered by the YSS. As increasing reports of violence and gangsterism amongst Indians hit the media, the MIC and all its attendant bodies have been severely criticized for inadequate action.

Late last year, when Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi pledged RM20 million to the YSS to combat social ills within the community, many wondered whether the money would be put to good use.

But projects like these would mollify even the most hardened cynic. They also reveal an underlying philosophy – intentional or not – that if something needs to be changed, it’s the women who can change it.

“I’ve been working with these groups for a long time,” says Jasmine who, as YSS services director, has initiated and facilitated several such workshops. Her rapport with them is evident. Standing before the crowd, Jasmine embarks on a session about how to conduct oneself as a leader or member of a self-help group.

“Everytime we do something positive,” she begins in English, “we need to appreciate ourselves. Many times, the problem with the Indian community is that we don’t know how to accept compliments.”

She then launches into an example, delivered rapid-fire in casual Tamil.

“When someone says, ‘aiyo, your dress is so nice’, how do we usually reply? ‘No, lah! So old!’” Her anecdote is received with giggles of recognition.

“We should say ‘thank you’, ” Jasmine continues. “If we don’t learn how to accept compliments, we are losing out on encouragement.”

Far from being meek, forlorn and slightly ridiculous, according to the stereotypes of Indian women, the women are vocal and highly energetic.

The key word here is dignity.

“We need to accord dignity to everyone regardless of wealth, educatuin or so-called status,” she says.

“If we parade (victims) in front of the media, that will stigmatise the position of the person. We might get sympathy today, but what we want is empathy, and people who will eventually empower others to stand on their feet.

“Once you come into a group there should be equality. We have to believe that all of us are equal: we may function differently, but we are equal in self-worth and personhood.” On the flip-chart in front, several words and phrases are listed, among them “punctuality”, “tolerance”, “acceptance”, “being non-judgmental”, “self-disclosure” and “agree to disagree”.